Living Backwards through time
by ImaLady
Summary: That night he met the great Dragon. "Why do I remember things yet to come?" "It is the past and it is the future?" Merlin's head shook. "What does that mean?" Spoilers. Merlin starts gaining memories of the far future, too bad his memory isn't as good 1000 years from now! Not truly an AU. Because everything in the series already happened once, but it might not happen again.
1. What's a car?

*Revamped. Thanks for the help!

"Dollop head!"

Arthur's head turned to his servant.

"Leon wished to see you." As soon as the words were out of his mouth Merlin started to head down a corridor in the direction of the physician's chambers.

"_Mer_lin" His servant stopped and turned. "Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"To my room, _Your_ dressed and feed," He smiled hopelessly.

"Your my manservant," -sigh – "you know you really are useless! I need someone to train you, I am going to meet Leon. I can't be dressed like this," he guestured to his formal clothes. "You've been my servant a week and still don't know my needs." Arthur shook his head

"Prat," Merlin muttered a little too loud.

"Do you want to be in the stocks today? Now, up to my Champers. I need to change before meeting with Leon."

* * *

They reached the chambers and Merlin shifted through the clothes wondering why it was important to change in the middle of the day. What a waste! He picked something pretty casual and started to turn.

A strangled and slightly repressed scream. The prince looked at the manservant. His eyes rolled back and he grabbed his head. He started trembling.

"_Mer_lin?! Merlin?!" The prince walked to his side.

"I'm… fine," Merlin was still trembling. "I need to… get your cloths ready" He headed to the princes chambers.

"Really?" Arthur raised his eyebrows. "so… it is normal for you to shake like a girl."

"I'm fine … really," he smile. "I just can't stand watching_ prats_ for long."

"_Mer_lin!" All concern left the prince.

"Royal prat," Merlin spat back hiding his great discomfort.

"Muck the stables, while I meet with Leon."

* * *

Merlin went to Gaius forgetting about the stables.

"Gaius, I remember things." Merlin looked almost panicked. "They haven't happened, and they won't for over a thousand years… It's wrong. My destiny still hasn't finished. Gaius a thousand year and Arthur… I think I failed him."

"You don't seem to be enchanted, but I don't know how what you say is possible." Gaius looked at him calculating. "what do you remember?"

"Cars, cities, computers, and feeling deeply… depressed waiting for Arthur"

"What's a car?" Gaius wondered aloud.


	2. Young warlock, you ARE magic!

"Gaius," Merlin's expression was broken; full of conflicting emotions. "Car is a very special carriage built in the far future…" a horseless carriage. "Arthur is waiting I have to go." Merlin half ran out the room.

The memories were half baked and jumbled. His head was still screaming at him.

* * *

He wanted to see the dragon, but Arthur caught him in one of the corridors.

"Care to explain why my stables," Arthur's voice became more saturated, "are filthy. I believe, I told you to muck them. _Mer_lin, you're utterly useless!" Arthur threw a wood shield he was holding into Merlin's arms.

"But I do believe," a wide grin grew over Arthur's face. "I can fix _you_."

Merlin sighed loud and exaggerated. "Too bad it's so hard to fix brat," He muttered softly.

"What did you say?"Arthur inquired.

"I said, _try _hard to fix _that._"

Arthur looked at him grudgingly. "Idiot!"

"Prat."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Hold that up!" Arthur started to swing his sword before Merlin was ready and when the sword hit the shield Merlin toppled backward.

"You're just like _a girl_. Get up!"

Merlin got up and lasted longer. By the time Arthur was done, Merlin was sure to have bruises.

"King Bayard of Mercia is coming in three days to sign the peace treaty. Merlin, _try_ not to be an idiot."

Merlin froze. He remembered something important happened at this treaty. What was it? There was a poison drink, poisoned by someone he would kill.

He had killed many, so many. He looked at his still innocent hands and saw the blood he would shed. –sigh.

"Is not being an idiot _that_ depressing of an idea to you?" Arthur chuckled and hit/patted him on the shoulder. "Stables, then polishing. Go!"

After his chores (he finished after dark), he paid a visit to his favorite dragon.

* * *

"Kilgharrah, **_Kilgharrah!_**" The dragon flew to the warlock.

"Did you know I was a dragon lord?" It was a test he was testing his new "memories".

"You are not yet!"

The memories seemed accurate, but still very hazy.

"Why do I remember things yet to come?"

"It is the past and it is the future?"

Merlin's head shook. "What does that mean?"

"Young warlock you are magic. You are not constrained like any mortal. Time means less to you, as you live through time backwards."

"My time is the same. My mother raised me. A year to me is a year to everyone else. So, what do you mean?"

Kilgharrah smiled. "Those events you remember of the future are real. They happened, but they might not happen again. The future is not written in stone; although _you_ have already lived through it."

"What does that mean?" Merlin insisted.

Kilgharrah flew away.

"You can't ignore me! I'm a dragon lord!"

"Not yet." Echoed through the chambers.

* * *

That night Merlin dreamed of his old life in the future. Victor, His neighbor was 78. He realized Merlin was the same Merlin he met in his childhood. Every two or three hundred years there would be someone like him. Someone who would realized Merlin's secret. When he was a teen he had taught Merlin about computers. Victor helped time pass waiting for Arthur. Victor ended up introducing him to Arthur reincarnated; Aaron's grandson. A story for another time…

* * *

*Victor and Arthur of the future will not be a focus. They are just there as memories. Sorry not really a future fiction. But I am going to write a Fic with Victor... his last name is Halliwell. And Arthur's is Wyatt. I mean why else would Wyatt get Excalibur?


	3. Today is too important

*Author's note: This takes place after episode two with the illnesses and Merlin confessing to magic to save Gwen, but failing to get and one to believe his confession...

* * *

Merlin woke but kept his eyes closed. His old memories intact as though August 2, 2013, was yesterday. There was zero haziness. In fact they felt more reall than his recent memories of the past weeks in Camelot.

He thought he had the greatest of dreams last night.

A second chance in Camelot. He felt tears well under his eye lids. Arthur reincarnate never had the same relationship, never remembered. None of his other old friends came back at all…

The dream was teasing and taunting him, but he was relieved. He had a hard time remembering what Gaius had looked like, or what his mother, Will, Arthur, and Gwen looked like. The dream had brought their faces back to his mind. It brought the feeling of Camelot back. The dream was a bittersweet one. His dreams had not been so clear for over 600 years. He could remember most of his childhood. He remembered Arthur as though they met weeks ago.

Tears escaped his closed eyes and rolled smoothly down the side of his face. Smoothly… not caught in wrinkles… he opened his eyed and saw the ceiling and his smooth hands.

Smiling ear to ear, he jumped out of bed and out of his room.

He hugged Gaius.

"Old friend I missed you"

Gaius hugged back and quipped, "You think me so old it must be pointed out!"

"After missing you for over 1000 years, yes, I do!"

Gaius face suddenly became unreadable. "Explain!"

"I've known you for mere weeks, but I remember years to come. The dragons said my memories are 'past and the future'. But I can change it. Gaius I won't let it happen to you again!" His voice choked on the words at the end.

Gaius' eyebrow rose.

"No worries, you end is not near." Merlin smiled briefly.

Gaius look turned to concern. "You know the future?"

"More like I know my past," Merlin laughed. It wasn't a dream. "'Living backwards through time'; I understand now! ... I need to bring Arthur his food"

* * *

He brought the prince his food. Set it on the table and opened the blinds.

"Raise and shine, you prat!" Merlin beamed. A pillow flew through the air and hit Merlin. The original had so much more spunk than the reincarnate.

Merlin was still beaming as Arthur got out of bed. "_Mer_lin, Merlin does being my servant make you so happy you must smile like an idiot?"

"Clotpole," said a still beaming Merlin.

"You're such a mystery." He sighed, "I'm having breakfast with my father today. I told you yesterday." Merlin fumbled with the now useless breakfast.

Arthur shook his head looking pointedly at his breakfast. "Can't you do _anything _right?"

Merlin dressed Arthur and proceeds to the banquet room to serve Arthur breakfast.

* * *

She walked in. Merlin dropped the pitcher he was holding and lowered his head. His hands were shaking.

Morgana… an evil witch… but for now, she was an innocent girl.

"_Mer_lin! _WHAT _is wrong with you?!" Arthur flusted.

"Seems you hitting me with a sword took a toll," Merlin jibbed teasingly and trying to snap back into correct behavior and hide the effect of seeing her after all those years.

Arthur looked at him teasingly trying to determine if he should feel guilty. He seemed to think the answer was no. So, the prince went back to ignoring his manservant.

Arthur greeted Morgana and the three ate their meal not noticing Merlin flinching.

* * *

Merlin revisited the dragon that night. His memories no longer confused.

"Hello old friend," Merlin's tone age over a 1000 years.

"Hello young warlock," the dragon smiled.

Merlin smirked, "my body is young, but my mind is no longer."

"So it seems," the dragon looked at him with wonder. "Old when you are young, and young when you are old. Dragon lord before your father died, but not until he died. You are a wonder! ... Yesterday you had not regained your dragon lord abilities."

"But my father is not dead!"

"Being a dragon lord opens part of your soul, and once open that part of the soul can never close." Kilgharrah bowed his head to his dragon lord.

"How did you know? If this is the past, then… why, how do you know I was remembering the future? Last time I was young; did you know this would happen? Or are you living backwards too? " Merlin was talking faster and faster excited by his new youth.

"Calm down. Although we are kin, I do not share that part of you fate. I could feel you change. I am more skilled than you at recognizing _what_ the magic is doing. You are now as old as or older than I, I could feel you change. We are connected as the last of our kind."

Merlin flushed and looked down.

"Kilgharrah, you are wrong old friend; as you know my father is still alive." He looked up and smiled, "And you are not the last dragon!"

Kilgharrah choked.

"I will save her with you,... but tomorrow is important. You will wait here and then we will find her!"

"Her?" Kilgharrah smiled, realizing he was not the last.

"Yes, and a white dragon." Merlin smiled.

"Kilgharrah, I don't think the past is written in stone anymore than the future."

Kilgharrah twisted his head 45 degrees, "Perhaps not for you." Kilgharrah looked deep in thought.

"Nothing seems real anymore," Merlin looked at the dragon; no longer as an omniscience creature, but as an equal. "Kilgharrah, the seers, the source of the legends of this time, are they like me?"

"They are of magic, and time for magic is backwards. Often powerful magic grants people insight to the future if they are truly _of _magic, but none are fully of magic and non as much as you. So, yes and no; No one will ever be as connected as you or see as far as you."

"Kilgharrah, I don't know how to stop what will happen tomorrow from happening!"

"You survived it once."

Merlin gave a broken smile. "Well it seems I will need my sleep," Merlin pouted, and then looked concerned.

"If I don't make it… I should free you now... and I should warn Arthur of Morgana," Merlin started to worry.

"You need rest; help me after tomorrow's events. You should not weaken yourself now. You should not distract yourself with Morgana either. Doing so could adversely affect the future."

* * *

Merlin washed every dish in the kitchen that night, and cast a sanitation spell on them. Hoping to weaken any enchantment put on them. He woke up early and proceeded to Arthur's chambers. He couldn't remember what the source of the poison was, but he knew who was responsible.

* * *

"It's a beautiful day today," Merlin pulled back the curtains and light shined in Arthur's eyes.

A pillow flew into Merlin's expecting hands, and then back at the prince.

"_Mer_lin, _menservants_ can't throw things at… _no one_ can throw things _at me_!" A metal bowl from the nightstand flew hit Merlin's arm as he blocked his head.

"Sorry, forgot you were a _Royal_ prat" Merlin smiled.

Arthur shook his head. "I should have you in the stocks."

"Today is too important you need me," Merlin smiled on the inside knowing the prince would soon understand how important it was he stay by his side.

* * *

Merlin couldn't find anyone who seemed to have magic. It was getting closer to the toast and he was getting antsy.

A girl cornered her and he had to fight hard not to kill her as he remembered vaguely the destruction she had/will bring to his loved ones.

It was too late he couldn't stop the Arthur from drinking the poison without allowing history to repeat itself.

She fed him lies and he pretended to buy it. He wanted to hurt her so much it shocked him and a nearby candle flickered and went out.

She told him _her king_ has poisoned the chalice. The witch watched with glee as he ran out to stop Arthur from drinking the chalice she poisoned.

"On what grounds do you base this accusation?" Uther questioned. Merlin wanted to turn her in, but fear he did not know where the cup of life was stopped him. She would save Arthur in the future. Her life traded for his. He felt very guilty, because knowing she would die for Arthur made him a little happy. Nimueh would pay for hurting his mother and Gaius.

"It's poisoned! Don't drink it!" In Merlin's head he whined as he ran up to Arthur and took his goblet.

"What?" The demanding King boomed.

"_Mer_lin, what are you doing?

"Bayard's men laced Arthur's goblet with poison." He couldn't blame the King directly when he knew the truth. No one seemed to notice how insincere the glare Merlin gave was.

"This is an outrage!" The foreign king turned red.

Bayard and his men drew their swords, so do the knights of Camelot.

"Order your men to put down their swords." Camelot guards rushed in. "You are outnumbered."

"I will not allow this insult to go unchallenged!" The foreign king gripped.

"On what grounds do you base this accusation?" Uther stared down Merlin.

"I'll handle this." Arthur chimed in and rushed to Merlin. "Merlin, you idiot. Have we been at the sloe gin again?" Arthur grabbed Merlin and took the goblet.

"Unless you want to be strung up, you will tell me why you think why you think it's poisoned now." Uther continued.

"Play along," Merlin told himself. "Don't turn her in. Don't do it!"

*I accidentally had part of the next chapter rough draft in this chapter sorry

*I will update soon. Also lozipozivanillabean was a big help as far as idea's go... Thanks!


	4. New Resolve

Merlin swallowed the goblet looking bravely at Arthur.

There was pity in Merlin's eyes; Arthur was sure of it. Arthur looked lost and confused as his brave new servant swallowed the possibly poisonous drink. Relief swept over him as Merlin looked confused at the chalice.

"He's yours," Uther spat.

Those who forget their history are doomed to repeat it….

Merlin collapsed to the floor. His insides were on fire.

His vision collapsed slowly at first, and then…. it was gone. Two eternally long second later and he was unconscious.

His body hurt. His dreams were unpleasant. The pain brought him to some level of awareness; still sight and the ability to hear were gone. He was stuck in a personal hell. He was twisting with pain that even given about 1400 years, he would never fully forget.

Hours turned into days. He could have stopped this. He had memories of the future. How had he let this happen?

His resolve to change the past/future strengthened as he writhed.

So much he would change…

Arthur completed his quest… just like last time. Gaius gave Merlin the antidote. After seeing no improvement he hugged/comforted Gwen. Merlin's weak body and new found awareness managed to tease the two. "Ew, Gaius you could be her grandmother."

* * *

A day later Merlin freed the Dragon. He barked ordering him away from Camelot without permission. They met in the woods.

"I can't remember the exact location of the egg." Merlin was frustrated. "We will find it! One way or another… Last time she was ok… I will find her; it is my destiny. I will contact the druids they will help us."

"We have not heard word, but we have a city now. We will watch and listen."

Merlin promised her by name to find her. He spoke quietly to the wind, willing his voice to find and sooth her.

With a name, she hatched far from the great dragon and far from her dragon lord.

Merlin returned home. He would change the future; passion to do so was fueled by his new failure.

* * *

He creeped back into the castle and the first person he saw was Morgana. He would change her.

"Morgana, Arthur needs you may I escort you?" Merlin inquired. Gwen looked at him oddly. Morgana seemed surprised.

"I just spoke with him," this lie was getting tricky.

"I was instructed to bring you somewhere he could give you a special token." He smiled and winked at Gwen allowing Morgana to see the gesture and assume Arthur was going to woe her. She still had a crush on her half-brother.

"He is full of surprises today. Gwen, you are dismissed." Morgan motioned Merlin and Merlin brought them to an unused guest chamber.

"Morgana Ihavemagic" like ripping off a bandage it came out of his mouth too fast to feel the fear while saying it.

Both of their eyes went wide.

"O-oo…oh" She looked at him as if he had two heads.

"I was born this way," He continued.

She just stared.

"I'm not evil. I just want to help you and Arthur." He had such confidence in his voice he sounded like a king giving a decree.

"I… know you're not evil," was all she managed.

She shook her head and continued, "why are you here? You are right under Uther's nose!" She smirked and then her face straightened.

"You need to leave!"

"No, I won't. I will serve Arthur till the day I die."

Morgana was already stunned; she couldn't look more stunned. Every sentence more shocking that the last. 'Ihavemagic' was still ringing in her head.

"I have to go. If you need me, if you're scared, find me." He smiled whole heartedly at her, "The royal prat is waiting."

'She knows I'm Emryst' was all he could think as he scrambled toward Arthurs chambers. Some many had died to keep that secret; to protect him. He was a young warlock; unable to protect himself. He knew more this time. He knew his power and how to control it. He would change the outcome.

* * *

"_Mer_lin, where were you?"

Merlin shrugged.

Arthur shook his head in disbelief. "Gaius want's you on some herb gathering treck. Polish my armor and you can go."

* * *

On his trek he ran across a griffin, terrorizing a town. He wanted to kill it, but there were too many witnesses. He had to lure it away.


	5. Arthur spies

Merlin's red scarf caught the attention of the Griffin.

The beast approached with a white-hot passion. Lust over it's next meal gleaming in his eyes.

Merlin turned and ran. Gasping as he soon ran out of breath.

45 feet into the forest Merlin stopped turned to the beast and enchanted a branch. The branch flew to the Griffin piercing its heart.

Merlin sighed. He heard a noise behind him.

"Who's there?"

Lancelot stepped out. "I came to help, but it appears my services were not needed."

Merlin was tired. He looked at the man with curiosity. He seemed familiar. "Not today, but thanks!"

Lancelot stepped forward and Merlin backed up seeing the sword at his side. Great… another enemy.

"It's alright I won't hurt you. Are you alright? That beast has claimed many lives."

"I'm fine."

"You know, drawing its attention like that was pretty brave."

"I guess."

"How do you expect to explain its death."

"I don't." Merlin was still on edge. Who was this guy? "I am headed straight home. No need to tell the village it's dead. They'll figure it out. Even beasts get hurt by nature." He gestured to the branch.

"I suppose," Lancelot looked lost in thought.

"I must go, I have a delivery to make," Merlin lifted his bag of herbs. "Good day!" Merlin smiled.

"Goood… day?" The man replied.

And just like that, Lancelot left. Merlin really should have asked for a name.

* * *

Merlin returned and Morgana wanted to see him.

"Why does she want to see a useless servant like you," Arthur fumed over the bizarre request.

"We like to count the ways you can be a brat and plan out ways to annoy you," Merlin's smile was too big for his face.

Arthur glared at him. Calculating… the two were a source of nuisance… would they… no…. maybe. Finally he questioned, "_Really?_"

Merlin giggled hysterically. "I am sworn to secrecy!"

"_Mer_lin, why does she want to see you?"

Merlin thought, what would be a reasonable excuse.

"She has questions about her sleeping draught."

"Why doesn't she ask Gaius?" Ok so that was a bad excuse. Umm…

"I… Um… didn't ask." He looked reflective. "Women are strange creatures."

"You should know you're such a girl."

"Prat… can I go?"

"Yes, before she comes," Arthur shoed him off.

* * *

"Did you send me flowers?" Morgana smiled.

"No?" He looked confused.

"Did Arthur?"

"No?"

"Oh," She sounded dejected. "I thought…"

She had flowers on the desk.

"Ohh" Merlin looked at her sympathetically. "You thought those were from Arthur or me."

Arthur crept outside of Morgana's door to spy. What could she be plotting? He pressed his ear to the door.

"It doesn't matter." She looked at him like he was a stranger again. "You should leave Camelot."

"I won't go. I will serve Arthur, period." He looked at her kindheartedly and firm. "You can trust me. I want you to know there are people like you. Arthur will make a great king someday. You'll be safe. You're not alone."

Arthur removed his ear from the door. Merlin was comforting Morgana. The word so sincere and mushy; It felt wrong to ease drop.

"What do you mean like me?" Morgana looked confused.

"Born with… magic." Merlin's voice sounded lost. She looked as though she saw a gost.

"But I'm… I..never" She stuttered.

"Uther's wrong. Some people are born with it. You dream of the future."

Morgana looked downright afraid.

"Relax, they can't see your dreams. Arthur is destined to bring magic back. Uther… I'm sorry for the pain he causes you… Arthur is good, please believe me."

Morgana was crying she simply nodded.

Merlin soon left and returned to Arthur's chambers.

* * *

An accusing Arthur met him. "Are you courting Morgana?"

Merlin's eyes went wide and he laughed, hard.

"So, you just love girly chit chat?"

"Wha… what are you talking about?" Merlin could barely control his laughter.

"I heard you two."

Merlin's laughter stopped. "You spied?" His voice was low and almost dangerous sounding.

Arthur almost was completely derailed by Merlin's reaction. "She asked you to leave Camelot, why would she do that?"

"You spied." Merlin slowly said the words. Then looked up, "for how long?"

"Long enough. Stop dogging my question!" Arthur fumed.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"_Mer_lin!"

"Ask Morgana."

"You can't deny me! I'm the prince."

Merlin racked his brain. "She thought you were too much of a prat to serve."

"_Mer_lin!"

"Arthur, don't spy!"

* * *

The next day Morgana was ill.

**Lancelot will return! Just wait. Please review this is my first fanfic!


	6. Teasing

Merlin felt a strange since of deja vu as Gaius searched for a cure for Morgana. He followed Gaius to check on Morgana and stayed after the physician left.

"Morgana, can you hear me?"

No response.

"Morgana?"

Merlin remembered her crying only the day before. He used to hate her. She lay in distress looking as innocent as the day she was born and instinct spurred magic. Merlin's eye glowed and he mumbled something.

* * *

"Thank you, Gaius!"

"Sire, I did nothing."

The king smiled, "Of course not."

* * *

Morgana found Merlin and pulled him aside in corridor.

"Thank you!"

Merlin blushed. Arthur came around the corner.

"What are you girls up to?" Arthur teased as he looked at Merlin.

"Nothing for the ears of baby" Morgana smirked and left.

* * *

"Merlin, why is Morgana suddenly taken an interest in you?"

"We are playing match maker for you!" Merlin joked. Arthur shut up apparently taking Merlin seriously.

"Tell me more." He demanded, while trying to sound as if it was not in the slightest important to him.

*Ill post more soon. sorry for the delay


	7. Mistake realized

Merlin was mucking the stables. It was his fault for teasing Arthur, but it was worth it.

He finished after dark. Gaius was asleep and the guards were tired. Merlin felt like talking to someone so he snuck off to his favorite Dragon.

"You are late young warlock!" The dragon fumed.

Merlin smirked. "I'm sneaking in and out of Camelot… I would hope it was not easy."

The dragon chuckled.

Merlin's face turned somber, "have you found her?"

"No, but have you?" the Dragon accused.

Confusion spread across Merlin's face.

Balinor appeared from behind the dragon.

Merlin stepped toward the man. "You seem familiar, I feel like we've met. I'm Merlin"

Tears welled in Balinor's eyes. Merlin remembered. His eyes went wide with shock, "father!"

"My son!"

The Dragon was still staring daggers at Merlin.

"Balinor did not hatch the dragon" Kilgharrah interrupted. "You must have hatched her!"

"What?" Merlin reluctantly tore his eyes from Balinor.

"A white dragon was seen by the druids, they could not convince her to stay with them. She has been missing for a while now."

Merlin felt a head ache coming on. He turned back to his father "How is this possible? Aithusa should not have hatched yet!"

Balinor tore his eyes from Merlin and gasped to the dragon. "She has a name."

Merlin gapped at the dragon "But… I … haven't" His eyes grew wide, "oh no!"

Kilgharrah growled.

"We'll save her," Balinor soothed.


End file.
